Post-Belfast, honestly

Honesty post.

I am back in the United States, still mildly suffering from jetlag, and have been asked a few too many times, "Are you happy to be back??!??!?" to which I want to reply with a confident, "No." Truthfully, I had a really good time in Belfast, met a lot of really fun people, and had a really hard time leaving all of that. Instead, my response to the repetitive question-- Are you happy to be back?-- usually goes like this: "It's nice to see family and friends, but I had a wonderful experience abroad and it was really hard to leave." ...truth.

By now, my post-Belfast depression has reached a point where I can write about my thoughts without fear of bringing the group moral down 87%. Before I left, I knew that I would feel this way; I knew it would 'hit' me later, after I got home. Like a new parent reading all the 'What to expect when you're expecting' books, in my last few days abroad I was reading all of the 'What to expect when you return to the US from studying abroad' blogs from the experiences of others (I'm such a nerd!). Nothing really helped because what I wanted was to not leave and none of the blogs could help me with that. Also, all of the blogs totally scared me... Below is a real excerpt from a college study abroad website:

As I read stuff like this, all I was thinking was: "Uhm, I don't want to come home! That doesn't sound like fun at all." And, now that I'm home, I'm like: "Yeah, they're right." I have experienced pretty much all of those difficulties since I've been back.

The hardest part about my experience was not leaving home or getting used to the culture abroad or making friends (all of which I thought would be the hardest)... the hardest and most difficult part about my experience has been adjusting to life once I stepped off the plane in the US.

At my host university, all of us international students lived together in about 10 different houses near the university. We all got along fairly well and became close. We hung out, went on trips, shopped, lived, made music, cooked... together. There was always someone to talk to, always someone to go shopping in the city centre, always someone free to do something. Now that I'm back, it feels like I have no one. Not true at all, but that's what it has felt like. No longer am I in a study abroad program where we're all in the same boat, looking for fun and adventure. I'm back in real life, which at first seemed to completely lack fun and adventure.

However, what I've come to learn in this adjustment process, real life can offer a different adventure. I'm just about to start my last semester as an undergrad (finally!) and I'm so excited for what is to come! My future is bright and full of opportunity. Making new friends and creating adventures is not restricted to my time studying abroad. It can happen at anytime... but only if I get out of bed, stop mopping, and go live in the real world.

So, that's what I'm going to do and I'll keep you updated on how that goes! :) 

Stay tuned...